Why I’m Not Rushing My ADHD Teen to Get His Driver’s License

And why you might want to think twice, too

When my son turned 15 this summer, my first instinct was, “You’re getting your license as soon as possible!”

That reaction made perfect sense to me. Growing up, I was terrified to get behind the wheel. I put it off for years and didn’t get my license until I was 20. Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed about that. It took the military to force my hand because trying to juggle my schedule without a license was a logistical nightmare.

Picture this: I was waking my husband and our 2-year-old up at 5 a.m. so he could drive me to formation. Then he’d pick me up after physical training, drive me back to work by 9 a.m., and return…again at 5 p.m. Some days I worked late, got recalled for formation at odd hours, or spent the entire day on a detail. Every time, he had to load our toddler into the car and chauffeur me around. The stress of not driving was more frightening than learning how to drive.

So, I vowed my kids wouldn’t make the same mistake. I’d encourage them to obtain their licenses as soon as possible.

But there was one thing I wasn’t factoring in… my son’s ADHD.

The Moment I Reconsidered

Not long ago, a law firm reached out to me with research linking ADHD to higher rates of car accidents, especially among teens. I set aside my own experience and looked at my son’s readiness with fresh eyes.

The truth? My son is typically a few steps behind his peers in terms of maturity. He’s bright and quick to learn, but following directions consistently isn’t his strong suit. He likes to figure things out his way, which works for hobbies or school projects but not for driving.

Statistically, teens with ADHD are 36% more likely to be involved in a collision. And that’s not a risk I’m willing to ignore.

Driving in Hawaii Isn’t Exactly Beginner-Friendly

Our roads are a mix of highways and minimal single-lane routes. Traffic is constant. Lane changes often happen without warning. Merging can turn into a game of chicken. It’s not the most forgiving environment for a new driver, especially one still working on focus and impulse control.

So, instead of rushing him, my plan is simple: slow it down.

My Approach to Getting My ADHD Teen Ready to Drive

I’m not anti-driving, but I am pro-prepared. Here’s how we’re approaching it:

• Driver’s Education – A structured course to teach him the rules of the road.

• His Timeline, Not Mine – He’ll study for and take his permit test when he’s ready.

• Frequent, Low-Stress Practice – Controlled environments like base roads, empty parking lots, and quiet one-lane streets.

• Direction-Following Comes First – If he can’t follow instructions consistently, we don’t move forward.

• No Distractions – No friends, music searches, or phones in the car during the learning phase.

• Ongoing Conversations – Teaching driving laws, defensive driving strategies, and local road customs whenever we’re riding together.

  
  

Research shows that teens who practice routinely are 39% less likely to get into an accident. That statistic made my decision easy; it was clear we needed to take the slow and steady route.

Why Maturity Matters More Than Milestones

Driving is more than passing a test; it’s about responsibility, awareness, and safety. For teens with ADHD, that might mean extra time and practice before they’re ready to handle the road independently.

As parents, we can help by tailoring the timeline to our teens’ readiness, not the calendar. Giving them the tools to manage their ADHD and understanding how it affects their driving can reduce accident risk and make the transition far less stressful for everyone involved.

When the day finally comes for my son to take the keys, I want both of us to feel confident, not just because he can drive, but because he can drive well.