Chomp, Chomp! Understanding Biting and Emotional Triggers in Autistic Toddlers

This past summer, I had two friends visit. One of them was the chillest three-year-old I’ve ever met, Lucy. She also happens to be nonverbal autistic. At first, though, “chill” wasn’t the word I would’ve used to describe her.

The first couple of days were tough. Lucy was overtired, overstimulated, and had a biting habit that showed up anytime she was angry, frustrated, or even in pain. Think Baby Shark level chomping— “chomp, chomp!” Every time she got upset or accidentally hurt herself, that was her go-to response.

Thankfully, her mom, Frankie, had given us a heads-up before the trip, so we were prepared. She explained that biting had become Lucy’s new norm. But we quickly learned, it didn’t have to be.

Breaking the Bite Cycle

The first two days, Lucy tried to take a few chomps at me. Instead of reacting, I observed. Her triggers became pretty clear:

Adult reactions: If the grown-up in the room was stressed, so was she.

Pain: She didn’t have a “kiss the boo-boo routine.” Pain confused her, and biting became her way of expressing it.

So, I tried something new. I got down on her level. I didn’t allow her to bite me, of course, but I did kiss her boo-boos, sometimes once, sometimes three times. Soon, Lucy started asking for boo-boo kisses instead of biting. Just like that, the chomping stopped.

The third trigger? Excessive screen time.

Frankie often put on bright, emotionally charged shows, and within minutes, Lucy would start stimming, crying, and sometimes biting. When Frankie left her in our care, we turned the screens off. The difference was night and day.

Lucy played calmly, interacted with us, and threw exactly zero fits. My husband even put on his “autism-friendly” music playlist, which helped her relax even more. Who knew a carefully curated Spotify playlist could save the day?

Lessons from Lucy

The moral of Lucy’s story is this: what looks like a major behavioral problem is often just a signal that something needs to change. With the right adjustments, Lucy went from frustrated and biting to calm, affectionate, and engaged.

Here are the top 5 strategies that worked for Lucy, and might help your child too:

1. Routine Matters

Stick to familiar eating, sleeping, and play schedules. We limited big outings to every other day, giving her downtime to reset.

2. Affection is Powerful

Hugs, kisses, cuddles, Lucy thrived on them. Her signature move was tucking her arms under my armpits, wrapping her legs around me, and squeezing with all her might. Pure magic.

3. Limit Screen Time

One to two hours max. Choose calming shows like Curious George, Yo Gabba Gabba, or Little Bear—slow-paced, gentle, and easy on emotions.

4. Pick Activities They’ll Love

Lucy adored animals and water, so we stuck to zoos, farms, splash pads, and beach trips. Bonus tip: Go during low-traffic hours to avoid sensory overload.

5. Stay Calm Yourself

Kids mirror the energy around them. A nonverbal autistic toddler may not have words, but they’ll pick up on your tone and body language. Patience and calm responses go a long way.

Final Thoughts

By the end of her visit, Lucy wasn’t the “biter” her mom feared. She was her true self: curious, affectionate, brave, and creative. All it took was the right support and some small but powerful changes.

If you’re raising an autistic child, know this: you don’t need a magic cure or a perfect plan. Sometimes it’s about stepping back, observing the triggers, and making intentional adjustments.

If you suspect your child may be on the autism spectrum, don’t wait; talk to your pediatrician and ask about early intervention services. Therapies like speech, occupational, or play therapy can help your child communicate, build confidence, and thrive.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This article is based on personal experience and observation. Every child with autism is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another. Please consult a licensed professional for medical or therapeutic guidance.